Monthly Archives: January 2008

Monday Morning Musings

How come so many contestants on Idol choose to sing a song by Whitney or Mariah? If I had one piece of advice for potential American Idols it would be DON’T SING A SONG BY WHITNEY OR MARIAH!

About those stimulus tax rebates… It seems that the government won’t be able to send out checks right away. It won’t be until late spring or even summer before checks could be in the mail. So why doesn’t the government include the rebates with 2007 taxes instead? Give me a $300, $600, $1200, whatever amount credit on my taxes now. If I get a refund, it will be larger by that amount. If I wouldn’t ordinarily get a refund, I might this time. This way the actual stimulus could happen now instead of this summer.

Dog as Cat Pillow

So, Duncan decided to use Raven’s rump as a pillow and Raven didn’t have a problem with it. I just thought this was hilarious. She’s next to the Little Guy’s Rainbow Blanket and wearing her latest knit sweater. It’s warmer today (we got above freezing!) but it’s been single digits and below zero for a while.

raven-as-cat-pillow.jpg

Tribune Policy Manual

Via Ted Frank at Overlawyered we find the 13 page pdf of the new employee handbook at the Chicago Tribune (read Ted’s post regarding the controversy over its common sense simplicity).

Sample portions:

Part 1
POLICY MANUAL
Rule #1: Use your best judgment.
Rule #2: See Rule 1.
That’s it. That is the one hard and fast rule. Unless a serious mistake was made when you were hired, you have pretty good judgment.

You know what it takes to succeed.

You know that honesty, reliability, commitment, teamwork, and personal responsibility are essential to superior performance.

Nice, one main rule.

7.
DRUG POLICY
7.1.
If you use or abuse alcohol or drugs and fail to perform the duties required by your job acceptably, you are likely to be terminated. See Rule 1. Coming to work drunk is bad judgment.
7.2.
If you do not use or abuse alcohol or drugs and fail to perform the duties required by your job acceptably, you are likely to be terminated.
7.3.
If government rules and regulations say that drug testing is a condition of holding your job, Tribune is obliged to follow the law and your manager/supervisor will provide you with details.

I like 7.2 – even if you’re not abusing drugs or alcohol, you don’t do your job, you can be fired.

Part of the internet policy – works for just about any situation I’d say:

18.1.4.
It’s good judgment not to put in writing what you don’t want printed on the front page of a newspaper. Or posted on a web site. Or heard on the news.

The best one is the following – section 15.5 most especially

15.
MILITARY LEAVE
15.1.
Tribune recognizes and supports the right of any employee to serve in the US Armed Services, the organized reserve unit of any branch of the US Armed services, or the National Guard of any state, and complies with applicable federal or state laws.
15.2.
Please give as much notice to the company as possible if you are called to serve.
15.3.
Tribune will continue your current pay for 90 days. After that, if the military pay is less than your current Tribune paycheck, Tribune will pay the difference.
15.4.
When you come back from service, your employment will be restored in accordance with all state and federal laws.
15.5.
Please do everything you can to stay safe while you are away.

Monday Morning Musings

Lately, it seems that some of what I’ve been watching on TV has to do with private investigators. Watching a Science channel special on the science of Star Trek, the show featured the HoloDeck of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Captain Jean Luc Picard enjoyed using the HoloDeck in his off hours to immerse himself in the world of Dixon Hill, Private Detective, and this use of the HoloDeck was featured in the special more than any other use of the HoloDeck in the series.

In the series Without A Trace one of the main characters is Samantha (Sam) Spade. There’s a reference to private investigators in every episode. I was watching an episode from the week before last called 4-D. 4-D was the apartment number of the missing person – a private investigator. The private investigator was hired by a defense lawyer to check on the plaintiff. You see, the plaintiff had stepped in front of a delivery van for a chain of stores and suffered minor injuries. But he was trying to win the litigation lottery claiming nerve damage and inability to work.

Turns out that the plaintiff didn’t have anything to do with the missing private investigator, but the private investigator had found out that the plaintiff and the driver of the company delivery van had met. The private investigator had not had time to impart this important information to the defense attorney before he went missing. The FBI team from Without A Trace did find the photos on the missing private investigator’s laptop and the FBI questioned the van driver. They found out that the plaintiff and the van driver were in cohoots to defraud the company and share in the proceeds. This is what the private detective had uncovered, but these two didn’t have anything to do with his disappearance.

Two of my favorite shows, Psych and Monk have started up again too. They both feature private detectives working with the police. The last episode of Psych I saw also had another private investigation looking for Gus as his e-wife was looking for him.

Then I get a spam email that says:

Summer is here, and love is in the air!

and I look out the window at the falling snow and look at the temperature as recorded by my remote thermometer 14°F and almost, kind of, wish that I had enough disposable income to launch a private investigation to find these spammers and find a way to put them out of business…

Seven In The Bed

There were seven in the bed and the little one said “roll over, roll over” so they all rolled over and one fell out…

stoppushing.jpg

That’s what this picture reminds me of.

h/t: Cats 

Illinois Republican Ballot

I went to county clerk’s website and downloaded my specimen ballot for the February 5 ÜberTuesday primary election. The following were on the ballot for the nomination for President. Who would you vote for?

{democracy:13}

Even though this is an Illinois ballot, we will be accepting only one vote per person. Thank you.

1James Creighton Mitchell, Jr.

320x240mitchell.jpg

Linked by Marathon Pundit. Thanks.

Four Down – 46* To Go

*It’s 3 down, 45 to go for the Democrats (Michigan and Florida are being punished for moving their primaries up so no delegates for them {and half the GOP delegates})

And yet, after Iowa, two Democrat candidates quit (Biden and Dodd) and after New Hampshire another one quit (Richardson).

After four primaries/caucuses no Republican has quit. Not even Duncan Hunter (hang in there!)

Update: After I wrote this I remembered that Tom Tancredo withdrew. But he is still on my ballot in Illinois. 

And no one should be quitting this early.

Yeah, I know it seems late, but that’s because they started a year ago and the general election is still more than 10 months away.

Also, the media are very interested in getting the primaries over with – right now. They keep asking if this state or that state is “it” for any particular candidate. It’s not. Even had Romney lost in Michigan last night, no problem. It wouldn’t be the end for him. There have only been four contests!

I wish the media would just let the process happen as it happens. Used to be that nominees were actually chosen at the convention. The convention used to mean something. It was something other than a big party.

Seems this country would do well to have that again.

Ode To Paula

On last night’s Idol from Paul:

 

I just had to transcribe it:

Paul: This is a love song that I wrote for Paula Abdul.

Randy: Wow.

Paula: Oh my God. Serenade.

Simon: Have you ever had really…

Paul {sings}

There is this girl I know

I follow her around

She hasn’t noticed me

It really gets me down

I broke into her house

When she wasn’t there

Took off all my clothes

And tried on her underwear

I’m always thinking of her

I really think that I love her

I’m not much of a talker

So I guess that I’ll just stalk her

And I’ll stalk her

If she were a doggie I would walk her

If she were a blackboard I would chalk her

If I were Columbo I’d Peter Falk her

But I’m not so I’ll just stalk her

If she were a fat {cross talk from Randy}

If I were a guy from Good Times I’d be Jimmy Walker

If she were a bathtub, I would caulk her

Randy: Have you been drinking?

Simon: Paul, Paul. I think you should leave.

Paul: You do?

Simon: Yeah. That was really creepy.

Randy: That was creepy man.

Simon: There’s something really disturbing about you.

Randy: Stalking, chalking,

Simon: Now seriously. I really want you to leave.

Paul: There’s a piano right out that door.

Simon {to security guards} Guys, can we ask this guy to leave?

Paula: {as security is escorting Paul out} Paul, nice meeting you. Thank you so much.

Paul: It was very nice meeting all of you thank you very much. It was a pleasure.

Simon {rolling eyes} Yeah, likewise.

Randy: That guy’s crazy.

video after the jump:

Continue reading

mm-5