On last night’s Idol from Paul:
I just had to transcribe it:
Paul: This is a love song that I wrote for Paula Abdul.
Randy: Wow.
Paula: Oh my God. Serenade.
Simon: Have you ever had really…
Paul {sings}
There is this girl I know
I follow her around
She hasn’t noticed me
It really gets me down
I broke into her house
When she wasn’t there
Took off all my clothes
And tried on her underwear
I’m always thinking of her
I really think that I love her
I’m not much of a talker
So I guess that I’ll just stalk her
And I’ll stalk her
If she were a doggie I would walk her
If she were a blackboard I would chalk her
If I were Columbo I’d Peter Falk her
But I’m not so I’ll just stalk her
If she were a fat {cross talk from Randy}
If I were a guy from Good Times I’d be Jimmy Walker
If she were a bathtub, I would caulk her
Randy: Have you been drinking?
Simon: Paul, Paul. I think you should leave.
Paul: You do?
Simon: Yeah. That was really creepy.
Randy: That was creepy man.
Simon: There’s something really disturbing about you.
Randy: Stalking, chalking,
Simon: Now seriously. I really want you to leave.
Paul: There’s a piano right out that door.
Simon {to security guards} Guys, can we ask this guy to leave?
Paula: {as security is escorting Paul out} Paul, nice meeting you. Thank you so much.
Paul: It was very nice meeting all of you thank you very much. It was a pleasure.
Simon {rolling eyes} Yeah, likewise.
Randy: That guy’s crazy.
video after the jump: