Santa Claus, Santa Claus You Are Much Too Fat
To the tune of Jingle Bells
I heard a reindeer’s hooves and Santa dressed in red
Came crashing through the roof and landed in my bed
I thought it was a dream, but quickly did I wake
As soon as I heard Santa scream “I want a piece of cake!”
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus you are much too fat
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat,
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh.
He got up off the floor and said “how do you do?”
I said my back is sore, my head is black and blue
So sorry, he replied, and he asked my name
He offered me a ride and I said no thank you just the same
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus you are much too fat
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat,
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh.
I heard a ho-ho-ho the sleigh was in the sky
But it was moving slow and wasn’t very high
It wobbled in the air, I hoped it wouldn’t fall
Said Santa chewing cookies “Merry Christmas one and all!
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus you are much too fat
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat,
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving Hymn
We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens His will to make known;
the wicked oppressing now cease from distressing:
sing praise to his Name, he forgets not his own.
Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
ordaining, maintaining his kingdom divine;
so from the beginning the fight we were winning:
thou, Lord, wast at our side: all glory be thine!
We all do extol thee, thou leader triumphant,
and pray that thou still our defender wilt be.
Let thy congregation escape tribulation:
thy Name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!
Words: Nederlandtsche Gedenckclanck, 1626;
trans. Theodore Baker, 1894.
Music: Kremser
Enjoy this day with your family and friends.
Thanksgiving Poll
It’s time for my annual Thanksgiving Poll. I’ve added a few more answer choices this year.
Veterans’ Day
Armistice Day, Veterans’ Day, Remembrance Day
The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month…
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe;
To you, from failing hands, we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Written by Lt-Colonel John McRae (1915)
Editing Fail
There are many copies of this at my local Walmart. One on each cash register.
[flickr]6326315892[/flickr]
“hero’s” should be “heroes”. The word is a plural, not a possessive.
“veteran’s” should be “veterans”. Once again, we have a plural, not a possessive.
This sentence has problems:
Help us honor your veteran’s, police officer and fireman, by bringing a photo to your photo dept.
As noted above, it should be “veterans,” not “veteran’s”. Then we have the plural of veteran, but singular “police officer” and “fireman”.
There is some controversy over serial commas. Some say that there should be a comma before “and” or “or” and some say that there should not be a comma before “and”. I am from the comma-before-and school. Whichever you prefer, the comma in the above sentence between fireman and by is wrong and should not be there. I also think the “and” should be replaced by “or”.
“Department” should be spelled out instead of abbreviated.
The final sentence is way off as well.
Starting October 20th – November 11th and honor your special hero by receiving a coupon for 2 5×7’s.
The “and” is superfluous. Some people use the apostrophe to indicate plurals with numerals, some do not.
How does one honor one’s hero by receiving a coupon? Apparently you take a photo of your hero to the photo department and the employee there will put your photo on the “Wall of Honor” to be seen by Walmart employees and customers. They will also give you a coupon good for two 5″ by 7″ prints.
It’s also out of balance with all that black space.
My suggestion:
