Santa Claus, Santa Claus You Are Much Too Fat

To the tune of Jingle Bells

I heard a reindeer’s hooves and Santa dressed in red
Came crashing through the roof and landed in my bed
I thought it was a dream, but quickly did I wake
As soon as I heard Santa scream “I want a piece of cake!”

Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus you are much too fat
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat,
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh.

He got up off the floor and said “how do you do?”
I said my back is sore, my head is black and blue
So sorry, he replied, and he asked my name
He offered me a ride and I said no thank you just the same

Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus you are much too fat
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat,
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh.

I heard a ho-ho-ho the sleigh was in the sky
But it was moving slow and wasn’t very high
It wobbled in the air, I hoped it wouldn’t fall
Said Santa chewing cookies “Merry Christmas one and all!

Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus you are much too fat
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat,
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus how much do you weigh?
I’m glad I’m not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh.

mm-5